It is what it is, and it just keeps coming

Life as of late has been nothing but a big snowball of happenings, destruction, emotions, growth, realization, complications… it is a long list. Of course it all sounds bad, but it def. is not. My Little Nikolas is growing every day, discovering new things, learning and improving. It is such a pleasure to see him learning new words, being able to do something on his own that he wasn’t able to do before and developing his own little personality.
I have also found one (or two) new friends through some of this. People I already knew, but never really got to talk to on a more deeper, personal level, evolving into a loving type of friendship.
There has been downs, and ups, but def. more downs. A neighbor of ours even went as far as blessing our “grounds” last night because I have mentioned it more than once now, that things seem to be going so bad, our house might be actually and seriously “doomed” or cursed for some reason. (*update* which turned out to be a negative. Crap still happens)

Things weren’t always perfect before we  moved here, but it just appears to be one downfall after another since we moved to this location three years ago. So who knows, it might have done some good.
I have given up so much since Roberts health issues have started since the accident. I have endured his moods, his pains, his outbursts and his continuous attacks towards random situations and people. It sure hasn’t been easy, and I’m sure it will still be an issue for an unforeseen time to come, but it is what it is.
I have been asked several times why I’m still with my husband throughout all this and all I can say is: “If I wasn’t, who would be?”
Life always builds mountains that we have to climb and conquer. Giving up wouldn’t be an option. Leaving someone in the middle of the ascent wouldn’t be fair and would automatically disqualify me for the lesson given, the strength earned and the outcome. The next mountain would be much more difficult to get across. So I just take one step at a time.
This is my thought for today, Sunday, 6-24-2012.

I have other things to do now.  I wish I had much more time to write on a daily basis, but as the above states, I never really know where the day takes me when I open my eyes. 🙂


took this from a Facebook Posting because I need to be able to re-read this every so often!

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressive to the staff, that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.
One nurse took her copy to Melbourne. RESULT: The old man’s sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and is still appearing in magazines for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent poem.
And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this ‘anonymous’ poem that is viral across the Internet.

(I wish I knew his name!! **TISSUE WARNING**)

Cranky Old Man…..

What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you’re looking at me?

A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food .. . … . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .’I do wish you’d try!’

Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . … lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?

Is that what you’re thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse. You’re not looking at me.

I’ll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.

I’m a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he’ll meet.

A groom soon at Twenty . . . heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.

A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don’t mourn.

At Fifty, once more, .. …Babies play ’round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future … . . . . I shudder with dread.

For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I’ve known.

I’m now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It’s jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells.

I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I’m loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.

So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person… Try to see the young soul within them. For if we live long enough, this will be all of us…. one day.
FEEL FREE SHARE THIS POEM for “The best and most beautiful things of this world can’t be seen or touched. They must be felt by the heart.”


Why do I reveal my biSnitch on Facebook …

Friends, Fans, Enemies, Foes….
So I have been reminded more than once now that maybe it’s not such a good thing to post my “personal” stuff on Facebook the way I do, but what people need to understand is my thoughts ON Facebook.
Just when you signed up for Facebook, they showed you their Privacy Policy, their Terms of Use Policy and such and such, and of course, we never read through this, because we want to be where our friends are. Exited to see what this “Facebook” thing is all about. When you skipped over these Terms and Policies, you missed out the fact that EVERYTHING you do or “like” on those pages becomes the worlds bisnitch. It doesn’t matter what I put out there, because they follow me EVERYWHERE.
(on a little side note: Note the way I write business. BISNITCH … … Snitch being the key here.)
So in the latest developments which I won’t get into too deeply here, I’ve been posting some stuff that some would see as revealing WAAAAY too much about someone else’s life. But this is where my view on “doing it” on Facebook comes in.
I add people I know to my Facebook, most of which I have me in real life, or have met through the internet, such as World Of Warcraft or Message boards. Other people are things I’ve “liked” and so happened to become friends with them. (because someone had to start that page….)
So now, when I put my stories, my funnies, my worries, my troubles on my Profile, I am aware that those friends, acquaintances and family members will see it. GOOD! Because I am keeping them up to date on what’s happening. If I go to , let’s just use this for an example, to a wedding and run into all these people, that ask me the same thing over and over, being on FB and adding my stuff on there, saves me a lot of trouble telling the same thing over and over and over. I am that kind of person that gets bothered having to tell the same thing over and over and over…. I just don’t like it. You can hardly get a hold of me on the phone for pete’s sake. Send me a TXT and I am all over you like flies on shit. Writing on Facebook to me is, yes, indeed Therapeutic, and a Newsletter of some sorts. This way people DON’T have to wonder: “What’s going on in Dee’s Life” or “I wonder how grown up that little boy is now”.
Facebook isn’t private anyways.
Friends and Family that I haven’t seen in YEARS are able to see what’s happening to me. I have old Classmates on my Facebook that I, myself have been wondering about for YEARS. Now that I found them, I am happy. I found People that I grew up with, were living on the same street as I, playing hopscotch together. I’ve wondered about them as well. I find out what great jobs they have, what their family looks like now, that they have children of their own.
I have family that I found, that I NEVER knew I had! I saw my niece giving birth to her precious baby. If I wasn’t on Facebook, I would not know what her precious princess looks like.
So to me, Facebook is nothing but a Giant Newsletter! I keep people up to date on my kids, my health, my husbands health, my likes, my dislikes, my preference in music…. NOTHING is private on the Internet anymore anyways. YOU might not know how to find out the nitty-gritty, but believe me, I can find out what you went to court for, when you went to court, if you have been arrested, if your children have been arrested. It’s not just Facebook. It’s everything.
Facebook is also my support system. I have something i feel troubled about, I post it on Facebook, and sometimes I get good advice from it, sometimes I get encouragement, and sometimes, I get nothing. It’s all good to me. I am fully aware that I’m putting it out there, with my legs wide-spread, exposed to the world.

So that’s my opinion of it. I can’t find a reason why I should justify my ways!